Author: Alina Khoma
CEO of bavka, Montessori educator

 

Today, a large part of the world will celebrate the spooky and mysterious holiday of Halloween. I know you are curious to hear what the Montessori method says about this celebration. After all, just recently we talked about fantasy and imagination, and this tradition, like no other, is steeped in fiction, mysticism, and fantasy.

 

The Cultural and Historical Lens

 

Halloween is a significant historical and cultural event for many. However, some families prefer that their children do not participate due to their ethical, religious, or personal views. Montessori pedagogy deeply respects the stance of all sides! I am sure you have come across Halloween-themed Montessori activity ideas on Pinterest and probably wondered how that is even possible, and whether these activities are truly aligned with the method.

 

Well, I have an answer! Since this holiday has acquired cultural and historical significance, the Montessori method approaches it from exactly this angle. It is important for us to enrich our children's understanding of the holidays and traditions of different cultures, and Halloween is certainly a topic worth discussing. The method encourages children to explore the subject deeply. We tell children how the holiday changed historically, how people used to celebrate it, and what they do now. This is a wonderful opportunity for older students or teenagers who are interested in history and customs.

Costume Choices and Deeper Meanings

 

Even the choice of costumes is highly important. We should encourage children to talk about stereotypes and biases regarding various images and characters. A lot of commercial costumes demean certain segments of the population or carry problematic racial undertones. By addressing this, we can bring genuine meaning to the tradition of dressing up—after all, children truly adore costumes.

 

I used to wait all year for Christmas Eve (Sviatyi Vechir) just to go caroling with a traditional nativity vertep troupe in my chosen costume after dinner. Our traditional costumes also carried deep meaning and purpose. It is essential to talk to children about the significance behind these things.

What About the Little Ones?

 

All of this, of course, applies to older children. But what should we do with toddlers and preschoolers? If you haven't read my previous post on fantasy and imagination, I sincerely advise you to start there.

We understand that children under six are deeply sensitive to reality. Therefore, if you impose the reality of a fictional character onto them, they will fully believe you. This creates a breeding ground for fears, especially in children around four years old.

 

At this stage, they also become very curious about life and death. Prepare yourself for these conversations. Choose the right books and tell your child the truth before they hear it on the playground from peers in a less-than-pleasant context.

Handling Tough Conversations

 

Of course, we should address these topics when your specific child is ready and begins asking questions.

For me, this turning point came after the death of our pet. My daughter did not understand what had happened and why her cat had been gone for so long. It was at that exact moment we decided to explain the bitter reality to her, using carefully chosen words and concepts.

 

Since children will hear a lot about characters that personify death during this holiday, it is worth preparing them. Explain the meaning behind each image, but also make sure to remind them: “This is a person in disguise, it is not a real creature, it is just a costume.” Approach it like researchers. Try as we might, we cannot entirely shield a child from this holiday. They will hear about it in kindergarten, on the playground, or see advertisements and decorations in your favorite coffee shop.

 

Staying True to Family Values

 

It is easy to get lost in the candy, cheap decorations, and costumes, but remember that you can participate in these events while remaining true to your own family values. This is an excellent moment to teach your children what your family stands for. You can explain why you choose to participate—or why you don't—in Halloween.

 

It is also a perfect time to discuss how we should treat others with respect. It is wonderful when parents use this event for social good, such as organizing fundraisers or setting up socially impactful projects. What could provide a better experience for children than that?

 

Montessori-Friendly Activities

 

You can come up with plenty of interesting themed activities with your children to explain the essence and history behind the tradition.

 

  • Carving pumpkins

  • Baking treats and pies together

  • Making a costume from scratch

 

These are the best ways to involve a child in practical life skills and foster their independence.

Adolescents and Social Connection

 

Sometimes, we just need to relax and have a good time. While we might not always like the idea of such celebrations or the costumes, if we have teenagers for whom being part of their peer group is vital, allowing them to join in and have fun for one (or two) nights is not the end of the world.

 

Make decisions together as a family, but do not pressure your child. This is a very useful discussion—allow everyone to express their opinion. It will help you understand how much and at what level your children want to participate; perhaps they even have some new ideas!

 

A Personal Story

My daughter really wanted to make a Jack-o'-lantern. She kept asking when we would have Halloween and when we would decorate her room. I had no idea where her sudden interest in this tradition even came from—most likely, the kids at her kindergarten had been talking about it. And even though I explained that we don't traditionally celebrate Halloween, but rather honor the memory of our loved ones and ancestors, and explained how we do that, I still could not forbid her from decorating her own room.

 

My daughter was busy for two whole days. She collected all the plastic bags in the house, cut them into pieces, drew spiders on regular paper, cut them out, and pasted them onto the bags. She was so captivated by this project that she didn't ask for our help even once. My husband and I were absolutely thrilled by how she came up with this idea completely on her own.

 

Just like that, whether I preferred it or not, my five-year-old daughter brought this tradition into our home. But she did it so creatively that the sheer fact of her independent, focused effort was invaluable to me.